BROWNS, MAYFAIR - So thought it was time to do this properly. I asked the missus to take me to Claridge’s for a serious Birthday Low Tea. Turns out it’s booked up for the next 6 months so we went to Browns instead. The Tea Room is like an huge posh old Ladies drawing room complete with Floral patterned Armchairs and a live Pianist playing appropriate afternoon Muzak. The choice is Traditional Tea or Healthy Tea (why?). Basically you pay for a tier of Sandwiches, Scones and tiny little Pastries. If you finish any layer they automatically replace it. WOAH It’s a Posh eat all you can! One of these Teas would be plenty for 2 but they won’t let you share (It’s priced £38 per head if you want to know.) Of course there’s a big pot of loose leaf Tea to go with it. I spent a very happy hour working my way up the layers of buttery white bread sandwiches followed by fresh baked mini creams scones. I was half way through the cake layer feeling pretty sickly when they decided to bring out my special Birthday Pistachio slice. The Pianist went straight into Happy Birthday and then everyone clapped politely without turning to look. So British! At this point I was ready to puke but managed to get a couple of mouthfuls in to be polite. On leaving we were presented with a little sample of the tea leaves we had been drinking which was a nice touch. Happy Barfday to me.